Build A Successful Relationship
What do you do when you are through the honeymoon phase of your relationship? You know, when life starts getting real and you see their quirks and the relationship starts having problems? This is where you figure out if you really want to be in this relationship.
8 Tips to Build A Successful Relationship
There are a few things you need to know to build on your relationship:
1. Your partner is a human being with feelings and faults. Do not put them on a pedestal. They are not superhuman. Be kind to them. Watch what you say AND how you say it. Before the words come out of your mouth, ask yourself how you would feel if they said those words to you.
2. Your partner is not a mind reader. If you have an issue with them or you want them to know something, don’t assume they “should know.” Make sure to have a conversation. Yes, you have to use the exact words you want them to hear.
3. No relationship is perfect. No person is perfect. We all know that one couple that seems to have it all. Do they really have it all or are they just keeping their issues private? Every relationship has problems. Every couple argues. It’s a normal reaction. The difference is that the “perfect couple” worked through the problems instead of walking away or allowing it to build up. Don’t compare your relationship to theirs. They have issues too.
4. Communication is so important. Make sure that you talk to your partner. You need to tell them what you like, what you don’t like, what you want to happen, what you aren’t interested in doing, and how you can support each other when your partner does something you don’t want to do. You have to talk to each other, but remember not to lecturing isn’t the right kind of communication. Have an actual two-person conversation where you both talk and both listen.)
5. It’s okay to do activities without your partner. Most successful relationships have friends outside the relationship. This is important because it gives you a broader connection and someone to do the activities your partner really doesn’t want to do. Support your partner’s decisions to do activities without you, too.
6. Have a friend you can trust. It’s important for each of you to have connection with people outside of your relationship and outside of your family. Consider the feelings of your family member before you use them as a confidant. If you tell them about a problem in your relationship, it could cause them to so protective that they have a hard time forgiving your spouse – even when you have. This causes hard feelings and could put a major strain on family relationships. Encourage your partner to do the same.
7. Plan a weekly check-in appointment with your spouse. Create a safe space where you can talk about everything from family to finances to intimacy to planning your vacations. This meeting is important because you can discuss the chores you need done, who will do them, and what can wait. You can hear what’s on their mind, find out why they’ve been distant, and discuss any plans you would like to make. You get to discuss paying the bills, how to keep your receipts and when the insurance is due. Remember each of you should start each meeting with 3 things you appreciate about your partner. It makes the harder issues easier to deal with when you come from a place of love and appreciation.
8. Have fun together. This doesn’t mean you have to go to the theme park or on vacation. You like this person. Make sure to laugh with them, dance with them, cuddle with them, play cards with them, or go on a walk in nature holding hands. (Maybe end your day with each of you telling a joke so you can laugh together) Get creative and just have fun.
This is just a start to building your relationship. Know that every person is different; every situation is different; and every relationship needs different types of love and support. If this relationship is something you really want, remember that you both need to be willing to put in the work.
