Rock Your Relationships

(Both Romantic AND Platonic)

Did you know that most people hear the word relationship and automatically think about the romantic relationships? However, you have relationships with every person in your life: your family, your friends, your acquaintances, your co-workers, and even with yourself!

Knowing how to interact with other people is one of the greatest gifts you can give them.

It's up to you to decide how you want to nurture that relationship so that these people want to continue their role in your life.

Check out my Rock Your Relationships blog post at: https://michellemical.com/pain-blog/relationships

What is one thing you'd like to improve about your relationships with other people?

Look at the relationships you have with the people who are a big part of your life.

What would you like to change to make that relationship better?

Remember, you cannot change other people. I know, there are so many things I'd like to change about certain people, too. It would make my life so much easier if they'd just listen to me and do what I say. But instead of trying to change them, what can you do to make the relationship work better for you?

Here are a few things to consider when you're trying to improve relationships:

You cannot change another person. Putting expectations on them is unfair and probably crosses some of their boundaries.
What you say matters as much as how you say it. Don't speak to them in a way you wouldn't want to be spoken to or use words you wouldn’t want to hear.
Come from a place of gratitude. This means that you shouldn't speak to them in anger. Make sure that you take a few deep breaths, walk away, or do whatever it takes to calm down before you speak to them.

The person on the other side of this conversation is obviously in your life for a reason. You must actually care about them and their feelings. Remember that when you are having conversations.

Now that you have been reminded that this person is someone you care about and you know what is acceptable behavior on your part, let me ask the question again. What is one thing you'd like to improve about your relationships with other people?

"When the world is so complicated, the simple gift of friendship is within all of our hands." - Maria Shriver

You are having one of those rough days where it feels like nothing is going right and you just wish it would be over already. But it seems like you are just making it worse. You can't seem to say the right thing and everything you do seems to rub someone the wrong way. To top it all off, the doctor called and ordered even more scary tests that you need a driver for.

First of all, you need to allow yourself to feel whatever feelings you have right now. They won't go away until you allow yourself to get through them. So, scream or cry or journal or meditate. Do whatever makes you feel better.

Once you get through those feelings, then it's time to turn to the people who make you feel better. For most of us, that person is our best friend. What a joy it is to have someone in your life that you can turn to like that!

For me, that person is my little brother. Realizing that he is my person really confused me. When we were growing up, we fought so hard! But then I realized that he knows me better than anyone else in the world.

He knows me so well that he can talk me out of the negative thoughts I'm having and won't put up with my excuses.
He can talk me down when I'm teetering on the edge and I know he has my back. Don't get me wrong, he's still my little brother and we have our moments, but I do know that he will give me his honest opinion and won't sugar coat the solution.

This is the type of friendship everyone should have in their life. If you are lucky enough to find that person, make sure they know how grateful you are that they choose to be in your life. Don't forget to nurture that relationship and make them a priority in your life, too.

Relationships need to be a give and take. Be sure that you are giving to the relationship as much , if not more, than you are taking.

Make Your Relationships Stronger

Sometimes relationships take a hard turn because of misunderstanding and hurt feelings. If you're like me, you really miss some of the friendships you’ve had with the people you love. But how do you move past these hurt feelings and misunderstandings to make your relationships stronger?

4 Tips to Making Your Relationships Stronger

Forgiveness - Forgiveness does not mean that you agree with their words or behavior.

If they are wrong, that’s their lesson to learn. Do n’t concern yourself with their lessons. Just be happy that you are free from all that stress!

2. Boundaries - A boundary is taking full responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and actions while not taking responsibility of the emotions and actions of others. You are only responsible for yourself.

3. Communication - Most disagreements start because of a misunderstanding. It’s important to remember that just because you heard a comment doesn’t mean that’s the way it was meant or that you heard the whole conversation. Make sure to have that important conversation so that you don't lose your friendship.

4. Respect - Treat them the way you want to be treated. Try to see their side of the issue and either come to a mutual solution or figure out a way to move past it.

Relationships are an essential part of life. It's important to nurture them and hang on to the ones that make your life more meaningful!

Be The Person You Need In Your Own Life!

Building relationships can sometimes seem like a lot of work. This is why we pick and choose which relationships are worth putting in the work and which ones aren't a priority.

Unfortunately, this usually means that your relationship with yourself is usually at the bottom of your list - if it makes the list at all.

Why is this such a big deal?

Did you ever hear the saying that you are responsible for your own life? Well, it's true. Not only are you responsible for the things you do and say, but other people learn how to treat you by watching the way you treat yourself. If you want them to treat you better, show them how to treat you.

Do not say negative things about yourself. It's so easy to leak your insecurities out into the world by putting yourself down. This shows the world that you are okay with people saying mean things about you - whether it's true or not. Instead - lift yourself up. Make sure that you only say good things about yourself. The more you say it, the more they (and you) will believe it.
Schedule fun time. Don't just "get through the day". Instead, make sure that you have some fun every day. This puts you into a better mood and shows the world that you value having fun in your life.
Get healthy. Stop being a couch potato. Take a walk, do a few squats, drink more water, change your portion size and/or your choices. When you look healthy, you feel healthy. Healthy people are usually happier because they don't have all the heaviness of illness holding them back all the time.
Block out time for yourself in your daily schedule. Make sure that you have time in your schedule for a date with yourself. You can use it to meditate, read a book, nap, create something, or even get your hair done. Just do something every day for yourself. There are 24 hours in a day - you can spare 30 minutes of that for "You Time".

There are so many other things you can do to take care of yourself and to show others how to treat you.

What are some of your self-care routines that will not only take care of you, but will also show other people the actions you will and will not put up with?

Strengthen Your Friendships

When I look back on my childhood, I can't help but remember being surrounded by other kids - all the time! You had different groups of friends no matter where you went.

I come from a huge family and have so many cousins that most of them don't even know each other. I pride myself on not only knowing who they are, but most of them know me, too. And we were close while we were growing up.

In addition to my "family," I had my school friends, my home friends, my best friends, my friends at grandma's house, my cheerleading friends, and my girl scout friends. These people were my friends for different reasons and they all knew me pretty well.

Some of these relationships have fizzled out for various reasons over the years. However, some of these people will always be my forever.

Who are your forever friends?

Evaluate your relationships with your friend groups.

Which friends have supported you and which have you supported?
What does that relationship need you to do to make it a little stronger right now? Take that step and watch your friendship grow!

Have The Scary Conversations

Having certain types of conversations with people can be so scary - but it doesn't have to be! These people are in your life for a reason.

The Marriage Meeting is a guide I created to help you hold weekly conversations with your spouse. It outlines some rules, gives you an agenda, and even has worksheets to write on.

This guide can be used for any relationship you have. It doesn’t have to be exclusively for your romantic relationships. You may have to adapt some of the questions to fit the relationship, but this guide is a great start to having those conversations while still keeping everything civil.

Download your FREE GUIDE HERE and start having those conversations with your spouse, your partner, your siblings, your friends, or any relationship that needs a check in. Although it is recommended that you hold weekly meetings with your partner/spouse, you should adjust the time frame to fit the relationship you're trying to maintain.

If you need any help adapting the guide to fit your situation or just want a little more guidance, schedule a FREE chat with me by clicking HERE.

Have a healthy and pain-free day!

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Rock Your Relationships