My Weirdness

My Weirdness

WRITING PROMPT - We all have a little weirdness inside of us.

• What are three weird traits you have?

• Why do you think they’re weird?

• How do you feel about your weakness?

• Are you ashamed of it?

• Do you embrace it?

BONUS CHALLENGE - Use two words that you have never used before.

Like most girls, who were raised in a Christian home and attended Catholic school, my childhood was centered around looking and acting like everyone else.  We were taught that being different could lead you down the path of sin. These rules were put into place for you to follow and you would be punished severely if you stepped outside of the norm.

I was a good little girl, who did what I was told, even if I rolled my eyes first. But there was no way I would have ever voiced the thoughts I had in my head. I was told to be a sheep, so I was a sheep!

When my parents moved me across the state, I tried to reinvent myself, but I was still the responsible one; the one who did what I was told and only complained to my pillow.

I know that my mother would never agree with the statement I just made. She told me that I was difficult and mouthy. Oh, mom! Imagine the things I did NOT do or say! I had great restraint when it came to voicing my opinion. I saw the disappointment on the faces of my elders and heard the hurt in their voices when they talked about those who “didn’t do as they were told.“ I decided to never be the reason my parents or grandparents were disappointed. That’s when I became a people pleaser.

That 1980s came and I had friends who colored their hair, had mohawks, got tattoos and piercings. I never did those things because sheep were herded and follow they’re pushed to do.

I became a wife and mother. There was no way to break free from the herding because whatever I did or said affected my husband and children. So, I towed the line.

Stress became too much for me, and my health started affecting my entire life. My hair was falling out and there were so many things I could no longer to.

I had no choice but to cut off my beautiful curls so that my hair could become healthy again. But it was never the same…

One day I grabbed a box of purple hair dye and decided to play a joke on my husband. The joke was on me. He loved my purple hair! So it is still purple.

What did I learn from going outside of my comfort zone? I learned that people have strong opinions, but that I was no longer a sheep! At some point, my purple hair taught me that it’s okay to be myself. It taught me that my weirdness should be embraced, not buried.

Since that time, I have become free! I no longer care what other people think of me. I embrace the weirdness and have been herded for the very last time!

This story is about my three weirdest traits, so here they are:

My appearance is my business. I am allowed to wear weird clothes, paint my nails blue, or even color my hair purple. I have left the flock and I am an independent purple person; a sheep, no more!

I stick up for myself now. I know my worth and I know that if I want independence, I need to be able to stand up for what I believe in. Why is that weird? Well, to me it’s strange because I was never allowed to think for myself or do as I wished. Now, I don’t care what other people think. I don’t live my life worrying about how my actions will affect everyone around me. My decisions are now made with the madcap attitude that it’s good for me or it’s what I want or need. I no longer worry about disappointing other people. Their opinions are no longer my concern. The only opinion that matters to me is my husband. The rest of the people in my life can factor in on my decisions, but they don’t really affect the outcome anymore.

The last of my weird three would be the sheep life itself. It was a part of my life for so long that I often look back and wonder just how bizarro my life could have been.

I used to live in the past. I missed the people who were gone with such intensity that I felt their death over and over again. Although I have overcome a lot of the pain my past has caused me, I do realize how much stronger I am now because of the things I allowed to happen before. These experiences have made me the strong, wacky human, whose sheep days are long gone – no matter who is disappointed by that fact!