Live For The Moments That Take Your Breath Away

It’s not where you go, it’s who goes on the adventure with you.

It’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey you take to get there.  The whole experience is what counts.  Pick a partner that knows how you take you coffee, likes to go on adventures, pushes you out of your comfort zone, and cheers you on when you try something new. 

My husband doesn’t like to go camping.  Camping was not something his family did, but it’s been a part of my life for as long as I can remember.  Camping is my happy place.  Being in the woods, by the lake, and surrounded by the sounds of nature soothes my soul and reenergizes me. 

I found that tent camping was completely out for him.  It was way too far out of his comfort zone.  However, he would go camping if he didn’t have to sleep in a tent.  He wanted to be comfortable and if I wanted to be in the woods, I needed to take his feelings into consideration and find a way to compromise. 

When you find that person who is willing to sleep in the woods just because it makes you happy, that is the person you want as your partner for your life’s adventures.  Be willing to do the same for them.

Write a list of things you would like to do.  Discuss this list with your partner.  Have them make a list, too.  Put at least one of those activities from each of your lists on your calendar right now.  Try to do this at least one time every month.  Taking adventures together (not matter how big or how small) keeps your relationship fun and playful. 

Adventures taken together make memories that last a lifetime.

Taking adventures as a couple is important.  Even the small adventures can bring so much fun and make great memories.

My husband and I go on Sunday drives – just the two of us.  This is our time to explore and just spend time together.  How is a drive adventurous?  We are driving on mountain roads we didn’t know existed and we had long conversations about everything.  Sometimes we had some serious conversations and other times we just had fun.

Living in Pennsylvania, some of our adventures need to be indoors doing things like playing games, watching movies, cooking together, or finding a project that allows us to spend time together.  All the little activities you do together adds up and counts as fun time together. 

When was the last time you had an adventure with someone you love?  What is something you miss doing that you wish you could do right now?  Make that happen.  Even “going to the beach” could happen if you have YouTube.  Use your imagination, be creative, and just have fun.

Happiness is living each day as if it were the first day of your honeymoon and the last day of your vacation.

We have all heard the stories of how they “fell out of love” or “just don’t have anything in common anymore.”  These thoughts are scary for all couples.  However, they are only thoughts and you don’t have to think them.  You have the power to believe anything you want to believe.  That power manifests your reality.

If you think that you’re going to have the worst day, you will walk around like Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh.  However, if you tell yourself that you will have an amazing day no matter what happens, your day will be amazing! 

You can do this with your relationships too.  Do you remember the feelings you felt on your honeymoon?  Or the feeling you get while trying to squeeze the last day into your vacation so that you can take that feeling home with you?  You can choose to have those feelings about your relationship – every day (even if you are single, you can have those feelings about yourself or your family.) 

Feelings are just thoughts that you have.  Yes, sometimes other people’s actions get into our head and we think negative thoughts, but they are just thoughts.  You have control over your own thoughts.  You get to choose how you feel.  If you aren’t feeling the way you want to feel about someone or about a situation, you have the power to change the way you look at it. 

You are powerful.  You are amazing.  You are loved!  If you don’t feel this is true, change your thoughts and make it true!

The journey is like a marriage – you cannot control it.

Have you ever tried to change someone?  I have heard women say that they trained their husbands to do this.  Or that they really don’t like certain behaviors, but they aren’t worried because they know they can change them.  Really?  Do you know that you cannot change someone else?  If you go into a relationship believing that you can change someone, you will never be happy. 

The trick is to go into the relationship with no expectations.  As you experience daily life as a couple, the way you see the relationship and your partner will change, but you are not in charge of their behavior. 

Have you ever had such a horrible vacation that nothing you did could change the outcome? 

One year I took my Girl Scout troop to the Hershey Camporee.  We stayed in tents, camped, and had tickets to Hershey Park.  The park and the campground both had special events for the Girl Scouts.  We were so excited to be there! 

We got the tents all set up and had such a great night.  During the night it started to rain.  In the morning, I sent one of the dads to pick up the breakfast so the girls could eat in their tents.  It was raining really hard.  After breakfast we took them to the game room (where they had walls and a real roof.)  The radio was talking about a tornado heading right towards us. 

Some of the parents wanted to go home, so they packed up and left.  Others decided that we could tough it out in a hotel.  When we found a hotel with enough rooms for all of us, we booked it.  These girls were so tired of being wet and we just needed to get them dry. 

The first thing the girls did was head to the pool (yes, they had a lifeguard.)  I guess they figured they were wet anyway and wanted to have fun.  The girls had a blast in the pool, playing games in the hotel, and we even had other troops join us for games in the ballroom. 

If I would have insisted that the girls go home because of the storm, they would have missed out on getting to know the other troops, having fun we didn’t plan to have, spending time in the park, and even eating supper in one of the coolest Greek Diners ever!  Instead, because we loosened up and allowed fun to happen, we made memories those girls (and adults) will never forget!

Allow your journey to happen.  Trying to control every situation is just way too hard!  Trying to control your relationship is nearly impossible.  So instead of trying to change your partner, remember why you liked them in the first place.  What attracted you to this person?  Now, find a way to see that quality in this person every day.  Find a way to let go of your controlling thoughts and focus on the things you love about this person. 

You can feel at home anywhere.

How do you feel at home anywhere?  You bring a little “home” with you – whether that’s a photo, a person, or just a feeling.  You can make anywhere you go feel like home.The ultimate experience would be to feel at home everywhere you go.  But what is the secret do making that happen? 

I went on a trip by myself and really missed my family while I was gone.  For me, it was the people I left behind that made a difference.  So, I talked to them at last one time each day I was gone.  I sent short videos and lots of pictures.  But the one thing that made it so much easier for me was to sleep in my husband’s t-shirt.  It smelled like home.  It calmed me and kept me balanced between home and my adventure.

What can you do to bring a little home to your adventures? 

Live for the moments so beautiful it takes your breath away.

I know, I keep saying not to live your life waiting for the next best thing to come.  But, it is a good idea to have something to look forward to.  Why not make it something that takes your breath away and leaves you speechless? 

When I go camping, there is a spot on the side of a mountain that is breathtakingly beautiful.  I try to go there at least once each year to get pictures.  I really look forward to the peace and calm that takes over when I am standing on the rocks overlooking the mountains and the valleys. 

At least once every month or so, find something that takes your breath away.  This could be something as simple as noticing the way the sky changes colors or a tree that grew through the pavement or the look on a child’s face when they discover something new.  Bonus points if you share this experience with your significant other!

The best gift you could give someone is a lifetime of adventures.

With the holidays fast approaching, you will hear the age-old question many times, “What do you want for [insert holiday here]?  As I look around my house, I’m sure there are some things that I would like to have, but I still have the 400 pairs of socks and my husband has the 82 ties we’ve gotten over the years.  I now know why Grandma used to say that she doesn’t need anything.

My 2 ½ year old granddaughter was visiting a few weeks ago.  She helped me roll dough and pinch together pierogies (polish dumplings).  This was the first time she’s ever done something like that.  We were both exhausted but she had a blast using a rolling pin.  Making memories is what it’s all about!

What is the best gift you can give someone?  Something that creates memories.  Maybe a visit or phone call would work if you are socially distancing.  Other ideas include things like game nights (in-person or virtual), painting parties, have a tea party, baking, or just spending time together.   If you are okay with it, take the person with you somewhere and do something exciting together. Let your imagination guide you.  You’ve got this.

Your soulmate is the person who is home and an adventure at the same time.

What is a soulmate?  A soulmate is someone that just gets you.  This person feels like home to you.  Their arms are where you feel safe and their smile keeps you going.  Just being near this person makes you want to do great things and experience adventures with them. 

 The problem some people have with the word soulmate is that they think it’s a magical thing that instantly attracts you to another person and they would be right.  However, some people think having a soulmate is so magical that problems couldn’t possibly exist. 

The difference between the fantasy soulmate that is shown in the movies and the real-life soulmate is that movies show you only happiness.  The happiness found between two people takes work.  Some of it is magical, but that magic doesn’t mean you don’t have to put in the work.  How long a relationship will work depends on how much effort each person is willing to put into it.

The work you put into your relationship does not have to feel heavy and bad.  When you look at your relationship like it’s an adventure, everything you try will feel new and exciting. 

Find a way to be happy with your partner.  Try new adventures and speak only with love.  Even the hard issues can be discussed with love. 

To find out if you belong together, you must take adventures together.

An adventure does not have to be a big trip.  An adventure could be moving in together, going to dinner, or taking a walk.  The idea behind this is that before you know if your relationship can work out, you need to figure out how you work together, how you compromise, and how you solve problems.  In order to figure out all of that, you need to take a few risks and get out of your comfort zone. 

Also know that just because one person likes to run 5 miles every morning while the other person prefers to sleep an extra hour does not mean that your relationship will not work out.  The people who run 5 miles every morning may like the solitude while running and the person sleeping in may be a whole different person when they sleep that extra hour.

You don’t have to do everything together to have a successful relationship.  You just need to be able to take adventures together – both big and small.  You need to be able to work together and remember to have fun together. 

Spend time together and make sure to have fun!

A soulmate is not something wild to tame, but someone to run wild with.

You cannot change someone else.  You cannot tame someone else.  You cannot make someone else do something without crossing their boundaries.

We have all seen the movies where people fall in love just by locking eyes.  We have seen the movies that end with a kiss.  Why don’t they keep the story line going after that kiss?  Because once you realize that person is your soulmate, the real work begins.  Nope, you can’t change them.  Didn’t you “fall in love” with this person?   Why would you want to change them?

Instead of trying to change someone to fit the image you have in your head, learn to appreciate what they actually have to offer your relationship.  Do you like this person?  Do you have fun with this person?  When someone says their name, do you feel light and happy or heavy and worried? 
Your soulmate is someone you can see yourself taking the rest of your adventures with you.  This person brings out the best in you and you in them.  And don’t forget to have fun – together!

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