Chill Out

Story Starter - Writing Prompt:

Families are a pain, even when you are the “chosen one.” My mother says that after that last stunt…

Chill Out

Families are a pain, even when you are the “chosen one.” My mother says that after that last stunt, I need to take some time to chill out. Apparently sticking up for myself after decades of putting up with their opinions “hurt their feelings.”

The child and me wanted to scream, “Wah! I didn’t get my way!” But I remind myself that I am more mature than that – at least a little. I needed to figure out how I’m going to “chill out” and still not have to put up with the stress my family causes me on a daily basis.

I knew that I had to put some distance between us so that I could figure things out on my own.  So, I searched the internet looking for ways to “chill out.”  Then, I saw it.  It was the sign I needed.

I immediately booked a flight and told nobody that I was leaving. I packed my bags, drove to the airport and took the first flight to the Caribbean. I would jump onto a boat so I could float around the Caribbean for a while. Nothing says chill out  like sunshine and solitude. How could I pass it up?  I mean, the name of the boat was “Chill Out.”  “This must be a sign,” I thought. So, I rented the “Chill Out“ for three months.  My plan was to do as my grandmother always said when she got stressed.  I was going to “go float!” (I’m sure that’s not what she meant by that phrase, but it sounded like perfect advice right now.)

I put my phone on airplane mode so that I didn’t have to talk to any of the people who claim to love me yet treat me like I’m a joke. I need a break from all the stress and drama they bring into my life.  I need to focus on me for a while, which is something I never did before.

Yes, I understand that some people think I’m playing a victim. However, “victims” don’t walk away from the situation. They stick around, taking on a “poor me” attitude and expect other people to treat them as if they are special.

I believe that by walking away from stress, I am giving myself the opportunity to work on my own issues and learn to enjoy my own company.  I deserve to be a priority in someone’s life, and I understand that it won’t happen until I make myself a priority.  That is my reason for walking away.  Besides, I was told to chill out, so I decided to do that.

The next few months are going to be glorious! I will not have to drop everything to take care of others. I can finally put my own needs before their demands. I felt free as soon as my foot touched the ground in St. Thomas.

I have decided to use this time to figure out what I need out of life. I can work from the boat, so I don’t have to worry about losing my job or my income. For me, life will not be much different except that I don’t have to live up to other people’s expectations. Just the thought of this type of existence has already lowered my stress levels.

The “Chill Out” was waiting for me in the marina. Lauren Francis, the owner, met me on the dock. She took me to the boat, showed me around and gave me important information about which ports I may want to avoid, where to fill up my gas, and even the cheapest places to get quality groceries. Lauren gave me her phone number and told me to call if I need help with the boat, have any questions about the islands, or if I just needed to see another human. She explained that living alone can be isolating, and she would be willing to meet me if I needed someone to talk to.

I spent the rest of the day preparing the boat for cruising. I went shopping for supplies, set up my bed, put my clothes away, and even set up my “office space.”

I made supper, did the dishes, and then sat on the deck with a cup of tea, enjoying the cool night air. The night was beautiful, and the weather was set to be sunny with the temperatures in the low 90s during the day. How perfect!

I had breakfast at the marina before heading off on my sun-filled adventure.

By 2:00 PM I found a spot in Magen’s Bay. The calm waters and beautiful, white sandy beaches was absolutely the paradise I had been waiting for. I intended to spend a lot of time in this bay. I think this spot will become my new “happy place.”

I spent the first day of my new life relaxing on the deck of the boat. I read a book, snorkeled, and made the boat home.

In the evening, I pulled out my paints, paint, brushes and canvases. I was so inspired by the beauty surrounding me that I had to capture it on canvas!

I usually sleep horribly on my first night in a new place. However, my first night on the boat found me asleep before 11:00 PM. I not only fell asleep quickly, but I woke up at 8 o’clock the next morning completely rested and ready to start this chapter of my life.

I knew that the first thing I needed to do was establish a routine. I also knew that without a schedule my days would start blending together, and that’s when problems begin.

I made coffee, grabbed some cereal, and sat on the deck with a pen and a notebook.

I made a list of things I need to do every day, things I need to do weekly, things I need to do monthly, work time, play time, and miscellaneous things. I then listed my work stuff, noting any meetings, deadlines and setting aside four hours every day to do the work.

I listed cooking cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, boat maintenance, and exercise. I made a list of fun activities like snorkeling, reading, hiking, beach time, island exploration, painting, crafting, and writing. I even added things I want to try like deep-sea fishing, kayaking, and so much more. I left room on my list to add anything new I may want to try while I’m here.

I then made a schedule that told me which days I should complete with activity. I made sure to add my work schedule to a calendar so that I didn’t allow the beautiful surroundings to distract me from doing my job.

I understand that some people may think this is excessive, but I honestly do have responsibilities that I can’t forget to handle.  And I came to the island to have fun.  I also don’t want to get so caught up in the work that I forget to have fun.  Keeping a schedule is my way of reminding me to do both.  I view it as a guideline, not as a rigid schedule that I can’t tweak when I want.

Once I had the list together, I put my pen onto the closed notebook. I closed my eyes, turned my face towards the sun and felt the warm rays caressing my skin. It felt amazing! I made a mental note to add this activity to my daily routine. Sitting here with the sun beating down on my skin lowered my cortisol levels and reduced my stress. Yes, this is definitely something I need more of in my life!

I spent the next few days exploring the beach and the waters around Magen’s Bay. I saw a sign that said that Carnival starts tomorrow. I thought I would call Lauren to ask her a few questions about Carnival. But when I turned on my phone, a flood of messages and voicemails noisily made their presence known. I turned down the volume, so I didn’t have to hear them, and walked out onto the deck as a distraction from the unwanted messages.

Fifteen minutes later, I checked my phone to make sure the messages were done loading. I called Lauren‘s number and she answered on the second ring. I said, “Hi Lauren. This is Lori Albertson, calling from the chill out. I was wondering where I could get some information about the Carnival schedule, cost, and parking.”

Lauren replied, “Oh hi Lori! I’m so glad you called. I will text you the details. If you’d like, you can park at the marina in our designated spot anytime. We have reserved that spot for the “Chill Out” and nobody else will park there.”

“Thank you so much Lauren. I really appreciate it.” I said. “Are you free tomorrow for coffee and lunch? I have a few questions. I’d like to ask.”

Lauren told me that she was free. She would meet me at 8 AM at the coffee shop near the boat slip.

 I quickly jotted down a few questions so that I wouldn’t forget to ask them.  I slipped the paper into my bag to make sure it wasn’t left on the boat tomorrow.

I showered and pulled clothes out for tomorrow. I emptied my bag onto the couch and separated its contents. I repacked the bag with my list of questions, my ID and some money. I added a water bottle and a snack.

In the morning, I left the boat parked in its slip and headed towards the coffee shop. Lauren was waiting for me at one of the tables.

I ordered my coffee and joined her at the table.

“How is everything going so far?” Lauren asked.

I answered, “I love your boat! I love St. Thomas, and I’ve been spending a lot of time at Magen’s Bay. I could live there forever!”

I asked a few questions about the boat, and we finished our coffee.

Lauren asked what I planned today and I told her that I needed to go shopping for a new cell phone and then I was going to check out Carnival.

Lauren said, “I could take you to the shop if you would like. My brother owns a phone shop on the other side of the street. I may be able to negotiate a better price.”

When we finished our coffee, we walked to her brother’s shop. I explained that I wanted a second phone so that I don’t have to turn my phone on. I don’t know why I overshared, but I told her that I was trying to escape the people who know that number and needed something local for emergencies and for keeping in contact with anyone I need to in the islands.

Lauren introduced me to her brother, Kyle, who discussed my needs, and helped me to pick my perfect phone, a plan that would work for me, and even introduced me to e-sims so that I could have service and most of the islands.

Once the phone was up and running, Kyle programmed his number and Lauren’s number into the new phone so that I could call them if I needed.

He looked at his watch and said,“How about a bit of lunch before you head into carnival? My treat…” The last part was said sweetly with a wink.  How cute!

The three of us walked to the café. We talked about Carnival. We talked about their funny family stories. Then they asked the dreaded question, “What about your family?”

I knew this would come up eventually, but I wasn’t prepared to answer this question. I took a deep breath, and slowly answered (oversharing again), “I have recently discovered that my family believes I am a joke. They believe that I am spoiled because I have my life together and can afford to pay for the things I need. I think they believe that everything I have is handed to me. I’ve been told that I am the favorite because they think I’m a kiss up.

“I have been dropping everything to help my family for years. But when I needed someone, they all disappeared. I was sitting in the oncologist office, awaiting the results of my newest pet scan, and my sister wanted me to stop what I was doing and watch her children so she didn’t have to take them grocery shopping with her. I did not answer the phone. My cell was turned off because I had to focus on the issue at hand. My phone apparently rang off the hook, and I had the nerve to continue getting my results instead of answering.

“When I got home, I was met by my parents, my sister and my brother. They didn’t even wait until we went inside of my house to start yelling at me for being so self-indulgent. I sat there and took it for a while. I then stood up and walked into my bedroom and locked the door. I broke down. Not one of them asked how my test results turned out. Not one of them cared if my cancer returned. It was so eye-opening! I wiped my tears, blew my nose and opened the door. I walked straight to the front door, opened it, and told them, ‘I have had a very hard day. I don’t deserve this, and I will not allow any of you to speak to me this way. Please leave my house and don’t come back until you learn how to act properly.’ I left the front door open and went back into my room, locking the door behind me.

‘When I came back out of the room, my house was empty except for my mother. She was waiting on my couch to discuss ‘my latest stunt.’ I told her that I needed her to leave now. My mother walked to the door, turned back to me and told me that after this last stunt, I needed to chill out. So, I listened and here I am! Chilling out on the “Chill Out”!”

Kyle stood up from the table, walked over to me, and hugged me so tightly I could barely breathe. He said, “You deserve so much more than you’ve been getting.  I am so sorry your family treats you so badly. You always have family, here, with the two of us. You should not be alone, and we will make sure you never feel that way again.”

This was the first time in a very long time that someone cared about my feelings for once. It felt so good when Kyle and Lauren took me under their wings and treated me like a family member should. I spent the next few months in paradise, relaxing and healing my body and my heart.

Time flew by very quickly. Before I knew it, my time on the island was over and I had to pack up and go home.  I was dreading this day for so long.

Lauren and Kyle drove me to the airport, and we made plans for my return. I hugged Lauren. But when I went to hug Kyle, he kissed me full on the lips.  Yes, I saw fireworks! Kyle pulled away and apologized for crossing the line. He told me that he had been waiting for months to do that, but he didn’t want to ruin the relationship we’ve been building just because he developed feelings for me. I reassured him that it was okay by kissing him back.

I flew home, packed up my house, and called my mom. I told her that I have decided to move to St. Thomas, and that my plane ticket was for tomorrow morning. If she wanted to see me before I left, I would require an apology for the way she acted before. If she cannot muster up an apology, I will leave without saying goodbye. The choice was hers, but I was leaving either way.

Twenty minutes later, my entire family was standing on the other side of my front door. I opened it and told them that if they apologized for their behavior, they were welcome to come inside. But if they wanted to yell or start drama again, they were welcome to leave.

They apologized for yelling at me and all came inside. They asked where I’ve been and why I didn’t answer my phone.

I explained that I was in St. Thomas. I told them that I turned my phone off to stop the stress they were causing in my life. I explained that I met a few friends and that I will be leaving in the morning to move there permanently.

My mother and sister cried. I felt horrible! Not because their crying made me question my actions, but because their tears had no effect on me. I told my family I love them, but that I don’t like our relationship. I don’t like how they treat me. I don’t like always being the butt of their jokes. I told them that my cancer has returned, and I had so much in turmoil over whether they deserve to know. I told them that my cancer is inoperable and that I only have six months left. I explained that I would rather be happy with strangers than be put down by the people who claim to love me. I promised myself that I would spend the rest of my life with people who care enough to put me first occasionally. I told them that if they want to be a part of my life, they are welcome to visit me in St Thomas, but only if they learned how to act like human beings.

A few hours later, I stood in the baggage claim area waiting for my bags to come off the plane. Kyle and Lauren showed up at the airport.

Lauren walked straight into my arms and said, “I’m so glad you’re here. Welcome home, Lori!”

Kyle stood back with a big grin on his face. When Lauren released me from her bear hug, Kyle walked over, grabbed me, and planted a big kiss on my lips. I whispered, “ I’m finally home. Let’s chill out together!”