Refocus and Reset
Stop looking for a partner. Focus on your goals and your life. The right person will find their way to you.
You can’t expect other people to love you if you don’t love yourself. So, instead of searching for that perfect partner, remember that perfection does not exist. Focus on your own goals, figure out what you love about life, and learn to love who you are.
The person you put out there is who the world sees. Figure out how to be the person you would want to spend time with. When you do that, you become happier and learn to love yourself.
Remember, you attract what you put out there. So, if the world sees you as someone who doesn’t love themselves or someone who is needy or whiny, that’s what you will get in return. Be confident. Put your best out there and expect nothing in return. Then you will attract the type of person who deserves to be part of your life.
Happiness is refocusing your time and energy on things that matter to you.
Each and every one of us have had the “pleasure” of being included in plans that we never intended to be part of. This is an energy drainer and doesn’t serve you well.
Being happy is the result of refocusing your time and energy on the things that are important to you instead of feeling guilty about saying no.
It’s not selfish to set boundaries. Saying no to the things that don’t serve you is one of the most freeing self-care boundaries you will ever find! Just don’t forget to say yes to the things that are important to you, too.
What was the last thing you did for yourself? How did it make you feel?
Reset, readjust and refocus as many times as you need to.
Many people view resetting and refocusing as failure. Reecognize that failure is a good thing. We learn from our mistakes. But we also have to remember that we can’t let failing become a bad thing in our mind or our lives. We have to view it as a learning experience and move past the failure.
You are allowed to make mistakes – you’re human! Part of the human experience is learning to readjust your focus and figure out what went wrong. Once you do that, you will be able to make the necessary changes to make your life even better.
When was the last time you pushed the reset button in your life? How did that change your experience? How many times did you need to reset before you were happy with the outcome? It’s okay – you take as much time as you need.
To make a relationship work, focus on what you like about that person.
Do you remember the beginning of your relationship? The butterflies? The anticipation? The dreams?
Fast forward five years. Do you remember what you loved about that person in the beginning? Do you still get butterflies? If so, great. If not, what is it about that person that annoys you the most? Is it the same thing that gave you the butterflies at the beginning? (Most of the time, that’s the case.)
The reason for this is that you have changed. The way you look at that person is different. Do you remember the feelings from the beginning? There’s no reason you can’t feel that again. After all, it’s just a feeling. You are in charge of your own feelings.
How do you get back to those feelings? You decide you want to feel that way again. Every day think of three things you love about that person. Repeat those three things a few times throughout the day. If you do this every day, you will eventually focus on the things you love about them instead of seeing the dirty socks sitting on the floor beside the hamper. And, you can once again feel the butterflies and anticipate your time together.
If you aren’t changing it, you are choosing it.
This saying makes people upset. I hear a lot of people taking offense to the fact that their problems are their fault because they choose to let it be part of their lives. But, it really is that simple.
If you don’t like your job, find a new one. If your living situation doesn’t work for you, find a new place to live. If you don’t make enough money, find a way to make more.
If you don’t like your shirt you would change it, right? Why would you put up with a situation that doesn’t work for you?
Now I’m not saying to divorce your spouse. What I am saying is that if the relationship isn’t working, figure out a way to fix it. If you decide to stay in a relationship or a situation that isn’t healthy for you, you are making the choice to not change it. It is your decision. It is your choice. You can either fix it or choose to not fix it. But, it is definitely your choice either way.
When you work to improve the lives of others, your life also improves.
Doing something nice for someone else makes you feel good and improves your outlook on life. Volunteering, giving gifts, spending time with someone, helping with someone’s chores, and just calling to check on someone are all ways you can improve their life.
Remember that setting boundaries helps you keep the experience positive for yourself. But knowing that you are making a difference in someone else’s life gives you a feeling of satisfaction, which will bring more happiness into your own life.
Being happy doesn’t mean everything is perfect. Happiness comes when you decide to see beyond the imperfections.
When you see the “perfect couple” and wish you could have what they have, what you are seeing is what they want you to see. No relationship is perfect. Perfection does not exist.
Every relationship has problems. The difference is that some people put everything out there for the world to see. Other people choose to show the good things and do not put their relationship or their significant other down in front of other people. This doesn’t mean they don’t have problems. It just means that they choose to work on their relationship privately and build each other up in front of other people.
You know that one thing your partner does that really bugs you? If you focused on that one thing all of the time, how would you feel about your relationship? If you chose to love that person and their imperfections, how would you feel about your relationship? Which one feels better?
Focus on making a relationship work by filling it with love, understanding, and mutual respect.
If you came home from work and your significant other was standing there waiting to yell at you for something, how would you feel?
Imagine if you walked into your home and could take off your shoes, put your feet up, and have a glass of wine. Then your significant other sat on the couch with you and told you how much they missed you and were glad you were home. How would you feel then?
Imagine a life where you and your partner respect each other and speak from a place of love instead of frustration. The best place to start is to begin speaking with love and respecting your partner.
Remember that you cannot change them, but you can change the way you talk to them. When you approach your partner with love and you respect their feelings and their boundaries, their reaction will be much more loving.
Take a moment to be grateful for something good in your life.
When we were first married, we bought a house but had no furniture. The first thing we did was go to a furniture store and bought a “roomful of furniture.” Now the quality wasn’t the greatest, but we had furniture in our living room.
Thirty years later we still have one lamp left from that first furniture purchase. It’s not the most beautiful lamp, but it does still work. Some people have made comments about the outdated lamp and tried to get me to replace it. But I keep this lamp in my living room as a reminder of where we started our marriage. I am grateful for this lamp because every time I look at it, I remember how hard life was and how much we overcame in the last thirty years.
Look at the world around you and take a moment to be grateful for the good things in your life.
You can’t have a good relationship without any fights. But you can make sure your relationship is worth the fight.
Every relationship has gone through disagreements because we are humans. Some disagreements are bigger than others. It’s how you disagree and how you treat the other person during the disagreement that defines the relationship.
You need to listen at least as much as you talk. If your partner doesn’t know how to listen, then show them how by listening to them. Their voice is just as important as yours. You will not be able to change anyone else, but you can show them how to treat you by treating them the way you want to be treated.
When you put in the work, your partner will show you how much they think your relationship is worth. When you find the one person willing to do the work with you, you hold on to them and fight to keep them. But remember, just because you disagree doesn’t mean it has to end. You just need to figure out how to fight together instead of against each other. The right relationship is worth the fight!
#RelationshipFun #Refocus #Strong #WorthTheWork #TheGrandmaGuru #MichelleMicalMotivation #PositiveTransformation
