Celebrate Their Wins
As our children get older, we are faced with the task of teaching them to be more independent. We spend so much time taking care of them, sheltering them from things that could harm them, and making sure they have everything we didn’t have as children. It’s so hard to stand back and trust that they listened to our words of caution and the advice we gave them.
When your children do get to stand on their own and have even the smallest victories, it is important to be their biggest cheerleader. Make sure to celebrate those wins and use the words, “I’m so proud of you!”
But what do you do if they try something new and fail? You don’t want to see them hurt, so do you step in and take over or discourage them from trying again?
Failure is a part of learning. If people didn’t fail, how would they know when they succeeded? How would they learn to step over the hurdles put in their path to get to where they want to be?
I heard a podcast recently about a father who sits at the dinner table each night and asks his children how they failed today. I know, why would he do that? In our society it is usually frowned upon to bring up other people’s mistakes. It’s taboo. Again, if they didn’t fail, how would they know they succeeded?
Think back to a time you wanted to try something new and it didn’t work out. Even if you curled up in a ball and cried, what did you learn from making that mistake? What did you try differently the next time?
Learning from our failures is a gift. This is one of the best lessons you can teach your children. Talk about their failures (don’t lecture them if they fail.) Make it a teaching moment and help them learn to use their failures as stepping stones to success.
As important as it is for them to learn from their failures, it’s equally important for them to feel like their success matters to the people they love. Think about how you would feel if the people you love celebrated your successes. Celebrate their success in a way that allows them to know how proud you really are!
