Prioritize Your Own Priorities

What is the most important thing in your life?  Now that you have that in your mind, what have you done to make it a priority? 

I took a class once that asked me those questions.  What was the most important thing in my life?  My answer was my family.  In my mind they were my everything.  The problem was that I was a little too broad with my answer.  My entire family was my priority.  That included parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, cousins’ children and grandchildren, and so many extended family that my head was spinning.

Why is this a bad thing?  Well, I spent so much time including everyone else as the most important thing that I didn’t leave much time for the people who should have mattered more.  My husband and my children were actually the most important people in my life and I didn’t always put them first.  I included everyone I was related to as my important family.  Because there were so many of them, my husband and children often had to share me with everyone else.  And with everyone else as my priority, there was never time for me!

If you find yourself in a similar situation, what are you going to do to change your priorities?  It’s up to you.  Nobody is going to change it for you. You have to make your own changes and sometimes even become the bad guy to save yourself. 

Making these changes will not make you popular with the people who decided that their wants are more important than your needs, but you have to stand up for yourself and for your priorities.  Don’t apologize to them for taking time for yourself.

 I learned to use the words, “That’s not my priority right now.”  When I was learning those words, I used to say, “I’m sorry.  But that’s not my priority.”  The truth is, I am not sorry.  I just don’t have time or energy to worry about other people’s expectations of me.  Therefore I was not sorry for doing something for myself for a change.  I was finally okay with that.

How do you become okay with that?  You have to change your priorities.   You have to remember that the way you live your life and what you put up with teach other people how to treat you.  Live your life making sure that your priorities are actually something that’s important in your own life.  You deserve to be respected.  You deserve to be heard.  You deserve to be a priority!