Managing Life
Sadness, overwhelm, and grief are as much a part of the holidays as peace, joy, and love. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
A wise woman once told me to stop living for the future and focus on the tasks at hand. At the time, she meant that I needed to quit dreaming about the future and start living now. However, I have found that if you focus on the tasks at hand, you don’t have time to worry about all the stuff that hasn’t been done yet. You can spend your days feeling more accomplished, focused, and happy.
This year we will be spending our holidays a little differently. The restrictions on holiday gatherings, the sickness that is taking over the world, and the depression that is creeping up everywhere doesn’t have to take over our lives. You can sit there feeling stuck and focusing on all the things you are missing or you could take charge of your holidays. It’s your choice.
I have found that focusing on decorating my home, cooking, and working have distracted me from the fact that I haven’t seen my husband this week. Making a schedule for the next week will give me something to focus on until he does get to come home. So many of us are in this situation – our family members are on the front lines battling this virus and we don’t get to see them or they are quarantined because they are personally fighting this battle. Some of our loved ones are immune compromised and can’t take the chance of even being in the same room with us this year. Whether our family members are in the military, sick, working out of town, or just unable to see us this holiday season, we need to stay mentally and physically healthy. To do that, we can’t allow our negative feelings to get us down. We need to find a way to take back our lives a little at a time.
So I came up with a plan of action to help me. I made a list of all the stuff that needs done, all the stuff I’d like to do, and all the stuff I normally do this time of the year. I separated them into what I can do now, what I can do later, what I can change to fit my situation now, and what I don’t want to do anymore.
Everything I don’t want to do anymore – I am not doing. It’s just that simple. Why should I stress over things that don’t make me happy when there’s so much in the world that does?
I focus my time and energy on the things that I can do now. It causes less stress and checks so much off my list. I play music or a movie in the background and just tick things off that list. It’s that easy!
The stuff I can do later can wait until later. If it doesn’t get done, it doesn’t get done. Again, no stress.
Now for the big one – changing our traditions to fit our world now. My family has been holding Christmas Dinner on December 26th (the second Christmas) for many generations. This is a tradition I have continued when my grandmother was no longer able to continue hosting it. It means so much to me to be surrounded by my family in my home to celebrate together. However, it isn’t safe for us to hold our dinner this year because of the pandemic. I have a choice to make: I could focus on my missed traditions, cancelling my party, and allow depression to overtake me; or I can make some changes to the way I hold this year’s celebration. I have chosen to hold the dinner for just my children. I may even make it a Zoom party so that the rest of the family can at least see each other – even if they don’t get to taste my delicious lasagna!
By changing the way I am hosting my party, I have continued the traditions without putting everyone in danger. By focusing on the tasks at hand, I can take away the overwhelm and get things done. By looking forward to my traditions I found a way to keep them alive even when we can’t really be together.
If you change your focus from what you are missing to what you are accomplishing, you will get more done and become happier. By being happy, you open yourself up to appreciating the holidays; which gives you something to look forward to. By figuring out what the hard things are, you can focus on the small tasks at hand and you will get through the tough times.
